Venturing onto the Ice

by C. Lloyd Brown-John

This is not about hockey. It is not about hockey because I have never managed to figure out how one even stands on skates and it is completely baffling for me when I watch people skate backwards, jump, ice dance, play hockey and so forth. No, I am far too ancient to want to test my increasingly fragile bones in an ice hockey arena.

This is all about another ice sport–Curling, which as I understand it involves throwing rocks around on ice. Rolling ice around in a glass of whisky I do understand but I'm not sure about the rocks on ice routine.

Many moons ago I had a fairly proficient rock throwing arm. I could skip rocks across rivers and was exceptional at hitting old bottles floating down fast moving B.C. rivers. The practise with rock throwing was important because in my rural neighbourhood rock fights were a fairly regular event.

I once beaned a former friend on the head with a rock during one fight when he prematurely stuck his head out from behind a barn wall. It could have had a damaging impact upon although it might be doubted given that he finally gave up on succeeding in Grade 7, after his third attempt, and he reached age 15.

Rock fights and river rock skipping and bottle hitting all required a good solid throwing arm and an eye for leading the prey. Yes, I also once knocked a grouse out of a tree with a rock–it was delicious over the campfire.

The local rocks I'm intent upon are monstrously large, have a handle, and are somehow or another slid or slithered down a curling pitch or curling rink or field.

Curling is a non-contact sport which I have often admired from a distance either on the tely or, in a couple of instances at national and international tournaments.  To read more go to www.leamingtonpostandshopper.com.